I do believe in Permanent Loan Modifications, I do, I do…

The house thing took a turn for the worse… After the trial loan modification, (9/09 through 11/09) Chase informed us that they declined our transition from trial to permanent, with a whole bunch of strange reasons and then ultimately after asking a half dozen representatives, they provided one logical reason The reasons for denial they read us over the phone included: income too high (ha!); borrower docs not submitted (more ha! ha! ha!); income insufficient (makes most sense and they confirmed that)… With a sole proprietorship, a 4-month snapshot of a P&L depending upon the luck of the draw, can be off a lot if month one no checks actually arrive, month two and three normal, and month 4, let’s say, you have more work and contracts than ever in the year 2009 but the actually deposits before the 31st are very low. That’s what happened. And Decembers deposits were good… The bank auction sale date on my home is still scheduled for this Friday, while they ponder the new docs and they can call us on Thursday afternoon and say “No way, sorry!” and the house won’t be ours by Friday at noon! The ironies and foolishness on the part of the bank to sell this property at auction are astronomical and no-brainers… But logic doesn’t enter into play. Nor is there anything beyond an optional participation on the part of the bank when it comes to the Making Home Affordable Obama put into play. Nor is the bank really made to be accountable, since they can do anything they decide based on their own benefit or inconvenience, and there is no rule book in place: “If the borrower does this; the bank NEEDs to do this…”  I wouldn’t be surprised if the house gets sold! If we pay a reduced interest rate for x number of years, when we sell, we still owe the bank $352,000. If they sell it at auction (2% chance) they won’t pocket more than $150,000. More likely it will become a bank property, a vacant liability for them. No income, upkeep required, etc.

I just did a search online and Chase as of Dec 10 has 136,686 customers in trial mods, 4,302 have become permanent mods. 3% The plan on the surface looks as if  Gandhi and Mother Theresa have taken control of the banks, but when you look under the hood, it’s really buffalo Bill! With all the default notification period of 120 days long since past and desperate and distressed borrowers willing to jump through emotional, clerical, financial hoops at the bank’s snap of their fingers, sometimes to the tune of 20 hours per month dedicated to providing docs the bank requires… the buffalos foolishly wait to become someone’s dinner. But the punchline is, you call the bank and ask: “I have all kinds of documentaion submitted that show verifiable income improvements and projected business growth, can you postpone the auction sale date on my home my children, my wife and I can sleep at night and make life-preserving plans and don’t get ill from stress? …And the bank can turn around and say: “We are reviewing your material and the sale “can not” postponed yet. We can’t postpone the sale date unless we can not arrive at a decision prior to the sale date”. So with no notification requirements in place, Buffalo Bill picks his nose and scratches his tummy and watches us jumping through hoops in the field as he decides which tasty treats to feast on today! It’s an ingenious plan to have poor, abused families pick up where Obama left off and invest monthly into keeping the buffalos fat and when the local market shows signs of being able to show a slightly better ROI for the bank’s repossession, they simply pull the trigger. So the poor carry the costs of the homes for the banks for months and months with probably very little genuine intention to permanently grant more than just a few permanent modifications to feed to the banks’ PR department so they can continue to tell the world how they help the poor and bathe the lepers. The banks save carry each month, the look like Gandhi instead of who they are, and it’s a big-ass scam! Knowing how it works, like so many things in life, only serves to destroy the beauty and benefits of ignorant bliss, because there is not a damned  thing a buffalo can do except play the game, keep to the middle of the crowd and hope that Buffalo Bill is considering Jenny Craig!

The process is a lot like the car salesman that has a whole bunch of tricks up his sleeve: “Wait here, I will go ask my boss what the best price he could do for you on this. I’ll put a little pressure on him. I’ll be right back… ”  Whether or not  there is a “boss” in the back room,  or a TV, or just a phone and an opportunity for the salesman to call his girlfriend, we may never know… But in the loan modification world, the statement goes like this: I will get your information to the processor, she’ll review it and forward it to the negotiator, who like the Wizard of Oz always needs to be behind the curtain to keep us faithful. “But remember, Dorothy, even the negotiator is powerless and impotent, for he or she can check your paper work and documentation and the ultimate “investor” can pull the trigger or spare you for a day or two depending upon where the itch is at that particular moment:)”

It’s NOT rocket science. It’s not compassion. It’s not common sense. It’s the wolf in grandma’s clothes: “Oh grandma what Big Greed you have!” Better to Chase you with my dear! Right up the WaMu!

One Response to “I do believe in Permanent Loan Modifications, I do, I do…”

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